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"York here. I'm probably busy getting my ass handed to me by adorable woodland creatures, but I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Over and out."

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From:

wing_attack

even after that i didn't let rachel go and kill her. she wanted to and i never really told her all of what happened.

and then she showed up again and i thought she'd changed and then she tried to kill us and some of her people that were trying to find a more peaceful solution and i still don't know if she died in that. i think she did but i'm not sure.

i'm not like cassie who's hurt by every single yeerk we killed but i understand that they were doing what they thought was needed and we did the same. i understand kill or be killed but i couldn't even let someone kill the person who tortured me. even if we had killed the yeerk without killing the host she'd still volunteered to be infested. she was the enemy and she's still hurting me even now with everything that she did and i still don't know if she should have died or not. she should have but i can't convince myself.

i don't know. sometimes i hate being human again i miss not having to really think.

From:

ratherbelocky

[It takes some time for York to gather his thoughts for an answer that could be helpful at all.]

It's hard to justify killing, period. That might sound weird coming from a career soldier, but when you get down to it, right and wrong don't factor into it as much as we'd like. It's like you said: They do what they need to do, and we do the same. That's what it comes down to.

It sounds like this Taylor, or Sub-Visser Fifty-One or whatever, was a pretty irredeemable bitch. And if there is an evil out there, she's the closest I've heard anyone come to it. Maybe killing her then would have saved lives, or spared you and your friends some future pain. Maybe not. But putting ourselves in a position to decide who should and shouldn't die, that's not really how it works. We kill to protect ourselves, or out of revenge, or, hell, because we want to. There's always a reason. Doesn't mean it's just.

But still, I don't think choosing to stop your friend was wrong. Even if you were soldiers. Maybe especially then. Don't know if that helps, and it doesn't give you a real answer, but that's what I got. I don't think you're wrong to wonder about it.

You might have a better talk with Carolina about this. I was never in a position to get back at the son of a bitch who did this to us. She might have more to say about it.

From:

wing_attack

thanks.

... i'm sorry i'm dumping all of this stuff on you but you were the only person i could think of who might have an idea.

From:

ratherbelocky

It's all right, man. I do have some idea.

And even when I don't or it sounds like I'm talking out of my ass, don't hesitate to talk with me anyway, okay? Chances are, even if I haven't experienced the things you've gone through, I know someone who has.