[It takes a bit because he has to take some time to read that over again. 'I'm proud of you for that. For who you've turned out to be.']
[The tears in his eyes are just because he hasn't dusted the apartment lately, that's all.]
I don't know. I don't know if I understand. I just... I did what I had to. We all did what we had to. Whatever got us to that point, whatever we feel... it doesn't matter, right?
Because we won. Even if we had to sacrifice everything that mattered, we won. So it shouldn't matter how we feel. When you start fighting in a war, you stop mattering, right? As long as you win.
[You know what? Fuck this, no. He's not doing this over text. He switches over to audio, because it is so important that the kid hears this. So important that he says it.]
Listen to me, kid.
[His voice is soft, but insistent. Iron.]
You never stop mattering. You matter, Tobias. War or no war, you matter. Okay?
[There's silence for a bit on Tobias' end. It'd be easy to pass it off as him not realizing it switched to audio.]
[But then there's just crying. Not little sniffles, but full-on waterworks, gasping for breath, sobbing that sounds like it physically hurts because it does.]
[And then it's muffled, like it's suddenly gone behind a thick pillow, because there's suddenly a bear and a bird next to him, letting him cry into them.]
[It goes on for a bit, the 'gear forgotten on the floor, before he manages to speak again.]
... I... I don't... I don't know. I don't know if it's okay. To... to matter, I mean. Outside of the war. I mean here I'm just... just the weird bird kid. But we're all weird. S... so I don't know if I... I matter...
And I... y... yeah. Maybe. Sorry, I didn't mean to kind of... dump on you. I can come over. My hair is sort of singed at the ends. Don't mind that. J... Joker just thought that fire would help in a forest.
[Spoilers: it did not.]
Um... I kind of... need a break anyway... I was working on some sketches...
[He sniffles a little, and stops being so muffled.]
Uh... well I was okay at Doom when I could use a joystick and bonk the fire button with my beak, but my reaction time is slower as a human. So... I don't know?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[Text]
[The tears in his eyes are just because he hasn't dusted the apartment lately, that's all.]
I don't know. I don't know if I understand. I just... I did what I had to. We all did what we had to. Whatever got us to that point, whatever we feel... it doesn't matter, right?
Because we won. Even if we had to sacrifice everything that mattered, we won. So it shouldn't matter how we feel. When you start fighting in a war, you stop mattering, right? As long as you win.
[That's... right, isn't it?]
[Text-->Audio]
Listen to me, kid.
[His voice is soft, but insistent. Iron.]
You never stop mattering. You matter, Tobias. War or no war, you matter. Okay?
[Audio]
[But then there's just crying. Not little sniffles, but full-on waterworks, gasping for breath, sobbing that sounds like it physically hurts because it does.]
[And then it's muffled, like it's suddenly gone behind a thick pillow, because there's suddenly a bear and a bird next to him, letting him cry into them.]
[It goes on for a bit, the 'gear forgotten on the floor, before he manages to speak again.]
... I... I don't... I don't know. I don't know if it's okay. To... to matter, I mean. Outside of the war. I mean here I'm just... just the weird bird kid. But we're all weird. S... so I don't know if I... I matter...
[Audio]
[This poor kid is fucking ripping him apart. He needs Carolina and North hugs the second they're all home together.]
Hey, do you want me to come over? Or do you want to come over here? I can make pasta again.
[Audio]
And I... y... yeah. Maybe. Sorry, I didn't mean to kind of... dump on you. I can come over. My hair is sort of singed at the ends. Don't mind that. J... Joker just thought that fire would help in a forest.
[Spoilers: it did not.]
Um... I kind of... need a break anyway... I was working on some sketches...
[He sniffles a little, and stops being so muffled.]
I need to stop... staring at it for a while.
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