ratherbelocky | .004 Δ [Video]

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.004 Δ [Video]

Goooood evening, residents of Johto. It's a lovely, drizzly January day, and I've got a question you folks might be able to answer for me. Consider it an informal poll.

[York looks comfortable and cozy as he lounges around his house, still wearing his ugly Christmas sweater.]

Now, I understand that this place just isn't equipped to support a Grifball League, but there's got to be more to life than just hockey and baseball. Are there Pokémon Olympics or something I should tune into? And, hey, what kind of sports did you guys have back in your worlds? Were they fun? Would you recreate 'em here if you could?

[He rubs his chin for a moment, then adds:]

If anyone around Goldenrod's interested in forming some kind of low-key community sports team--y'know, something for people, not Pokémon--let me know. I might be able to help us get something set up before baseball season starts.

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Oh-kay, I'll bite. What's Duel Monsters, and how's it any different from what we do with our Pokémon?

[Oh god York what can of worms are you opening.]

It's totally different! See, that's what I mean when I say this place is the freaking boonies!

[Yeah this is basically a whole Pandora's box of worms, York. ~~Sorry not sorry.~~]

First off, we play it using cards. The monsters're all holographic, and there's no freakin' slime involved unless you're playing some really sick exhibition duel.

[He pulls a small deck of trading cards from his pocket and waves it at the camera as he rants. A more elegant battling method from a more civilized dimension, obviously.]

You summon monsters and make them battle until someone's life hits zero. It's all strategy and power, none of this 'make friends with your monsters' crap.

[And he's definitely not lying at all about that last part.]

Uh-huh. Uh-huh, I see. Cards and strategy.

[...]

So, what exactly would you say makes this Duel Monsters thing a sport?

You have any idea how intense a duel can get? This isn't some stupid game of solitaire or whatever.

[Chazz you are not helping your case here.]

Getting into the pro leagues takes real skill and effort, probably even more than whatever it takes to toss around a ball professionally.

I guess if it has leagues, it might be a real sport where you come from...

[He still sounds doubtful, but, well. If professional poker aired on ESPN, York's got to at least give this guy's weird nerd game some benefit of the doubt.]

I dunno, though, man. Wouldn't you say there's a difference between a sport and a game?

~~[You come into his house. You insult his children's trading card game.]~~

What, you're saying it doesn't count cause it doesn't involve tossing a ball around or something?

Usually a player's got to display some level of athletic ability in a sport, right? I'm just saying.

You ever had a hard-light hologram blow up in your face, man?

[Because apparently that's a thing.]

Had a giant dragon spray fire at you? It's not like just getting the sun in your eyes or something, there's a force to it, and you gotta be strong enough to take it.

...

Well, I had a grenade blow up in my face once, yeah. Among other things.

[Is this really a conversation you want to have with a sci-fi soldier, Chazz.]

Is that supposed to impress me?

[What's "quitting while you're ahead" mean?]

Just because you've seen some bad shit doesn't mean you know a thing about dueling.

I'm just sayin' your holographic dragon shit doesn't really impress me, kid.

...whatever.

[Admitting defeat with all the grace of a sleep-deprived grizzly.]

You wouldn't be saying that if you'd ever seen a professional duel, that's all I'm saying.

[Well, as long as he's clearly won, York's apparently fine talking with this kid.]

You think they got the tech to replicate that here? They do have kind of a weird mix of things available to the average consumer.

I dunno, maybe? They've got some pretty crazy stuff here, but I haven't seen any holographic tech.

You might be able to recreate it with what's available here, but it'd take a crazy genius. I could maintain my duel disk, but no way I'd be able to build one from scratch.

You might wanna ask around for a crazy genius, then. There's all sorts here, I know that much.

Emphasis on the crazy part, maybe. I haven't seen anyone yet that could match Seto Kaiba.

[Because he hasn't really been looking yet, but details.]

Dude invented full VR tech before he was even out of high school.

What, like. Invented it out of whole cloth? Come on, nobody does that, it takes a whole team to figure that shit out.

He had corporate scientists and stuff to polish things, but all the original working prototypes? All him.

Wow. High school, you said? Good luck finding anyone that caliber, but you really might be surprised.

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