You'd be surprised. Anyway, they chat a bit, God asks Moses to go back to Egypt and be his mouthpiece against Pharaoh so he can free the Israelites, Moses says yes because God drives a hard bargain.
He goes back, Pharaoh's like, wow, okay, dude, sure, I'll think about it. Not. God gets pissy, and sends ten plagues against the Egyptians to convince them to be a little more generous: the river turns to blood, frogs and locusts hop around everywhere, cattle die, burning hail, all that good stuff. And Pharaoh still says no until finally, God sends in the Angel of Death to kill all the firstborn sons of the land.
The Israelites are told to kill a lamb and mark the doorposts of their house with the blood, so the Angel of Death knows not to go in there. But everyone else? Shit outta luck.
Then Pharaoh says he'll let the slaves go.
[He pauses for a moment, shifts in his seat.]
They get out of town, pack all their belongings and hit the road--they move so quickly their bread doesn't even have time to rise, which is why one of our traditions is to eat matzah, which is kind of like big flat crackers, basically. They travel until they hit the sea, and then they're like, now what?
In the meantime, Pharaoh's changed his mind. He takes his armies and chariots and goes after the freed Israelite slaves, who see he's coming and are understandably dismayed.
[Now York's really getting into it.] And God tells Moses, take your staff, and he plunges it into the water, and the sea roars on up and parts before the people, two walls on each side of a bare strip of land for them to cross. They cross as quickly as they can while God holds Pharaoh off in a pillar of fire, and when the last Israelite is across the sea and the chariots run in after them, God lets the waves crash back down, wiping out one of the most powerful armies of the world.
Sooooo we celebrate the vanquishing of our enemies and our escape into freedom with storytelling, family gatherings, and a real big meal. Oh, and candy. Can't forget the candy.
[Audio]
He goes back, Pharaoh's like, wow, okay, dude, sure, I'll think about it. Not. God gets pissy, and sends ten plagues against the Egyptians to convince them to be a little more generous: the river turns to blood, frogs and locusts hop around everywhere, cattle die, burning hail, all that good stuff. And Pharaoh still says no until finally, God sends in the Angel of Death to kill all the firstborn sons of the land.
The Israelites are told to kill a lamb and mark the doorposts of their house with the blood, so the Angel of Death knows not to go in there. But everyone else? Shit outta luck.
Then Pharaoh says he'll let the slaves go.
[He pauses for a moment, shifts in his seat.]
They get out of town, pack all their belongings and hit the road--they move so quickly their bread doesn't even have time to rise, which is why one of our traditions is to eat matzah, which is kind of like big flat crackers, basically. They travel until they hit the sea, and then they're like, now what?
In the meantime, Pharaoh's changed his mind. He takes his armies and chariots and goes after the freed Israelite slaves, who see he's coming and are understandably dismayed.
[Now York's really getting into it.] And God tells Moses, take your staff, and he plunges it into the water, and the sea roars on up and parts before the people, two walls on each side of a bare strip of land for them to cross. They cross as quickly as they can while God holds Pharaoh off in a pillar of fire, and when the last Israelite is across the sea and the chariots run in after them, God lets the waves crash back down, wiping out one of the most powerful armies of the world.
Sooooo we celebrate the vanquishing of our enemies and our escape into freedom with storytelling, family gatherings, and a real big meal. Oh, and candy. Can't forget the candy.